Daniel has plastered flyers all over town and has flooded youtube/instagram/tiktok with video ads.
It seems to have slightly caught on, not viral, but some response videos have come out and his channel is flooded with people calling him stupid.
The majority of the videos appear to have been filmed back to back.
Ad General:
Are you tired of being ripped off by psychics? Need to get rid of a ghost, phantom, poltergeist, goblin, demon, spirit, or vampire but I'm all booked up and can't help? Then come on down to Demon Killer Gym. I offer training, teaching, classes, counseling, and workout expertise from me personally.
Ad Counseling:
Are you experiencing depression or reoccurring thoughts about things you might have done and need someone to talk to? Maybe you stay up all night waiting for your dead friend to play the piano again. Did one of your parents try to eat the other one? Did you shoot an immortal lawyer a dozen times, or question your decision to stuff a girl in a box and leave her in an abandoned house owned by the church and then she got out and you don't know where she went? Maybe you just feel bad for feeding cat food to your invalid childhood friend. Maybe you question your decisions when you broke into a home with a murderer, tied up a billionaire who didn't really do anything but you didn't know that at the time, and shot his supernatural demonic life sucking mother. Come on down to Demon Killer Gym, I offer group counseling to help you put on a brave face and keep on keeping on.
Ad Weapons:
Do you need to fight a ghost but don't have a weapon? Did you know you can put glass in a sock? Or rocks? or scissors? In fact, you can put just about anything in a sock or pillow case. Hell you can fill socks with hammers and then fill a pillow case with hammer socks. There's all sorts of weapons you can make.
Come on down to Demon Killer Gym were I offer classes on making weapons from common objects you can find anywhere.
Ad Fighting:
Come on down to Daniel's Demon Killer Gym. I offer a series of courses on fighting spirits, demons, possessed babies, immortal lawyers, animated dead cows, hauntings, ghosts, you name it. If it is not of this world, I can teach you to fight it.
I offer classes on, fighting with, a chainsaw, saw'ed off shotguns, two chainsaws, table legs, how to set a bear trap, how to spread broken glass on a floor, putting nails in a bat, throwing knives, throwing axes, throwing rocks, books, mugs, you name it. I'll show you what's good to throw and what's not, cause you can throw just about anything. If you can lift it, you can throw it, and if you can't lift it, you can work out here until you are strong enough to lift it.
Ad Portals:
Here at Demon Killer's Gym I can teach you how to jump into a portal. Feet first? Head first? Running start or slow and steady? You don't know, but I do and I can teach you how to. Plus I have tumbling mats so you can practice jumping and falling.
Ad Self Defense:
Did you know people don't like to touch poop? Did you know people don't like to touch a naked man? Put the two together and you'll become untouchable. Did you know there are all sorts of common household items that will make you slippery? Too slippery to grab. You can't get grab someone covered in butter. Come on down to my gym, Demon Killing Gym, and I'll show you how to cover yourself in all sorts of things that will make you ungrabable.
Ad Revenge:
Did you get ripped off by a psychic, fortune teller, reiki healer, or some other fake new age weirdo fraud? Did you spend your life savings on worthless crystals and charms, and now you have no legal recourse? Did you know there are ways to harass these frauds until you feel satisfied? Come on down to my Demon Killer's Gym and I can show you how to harass someone. I offer courses in breaking windows, knocking things off shelves, taking a shit on a cake, putting glass in muffins, putting glue in locks, blocking driveways and business entrances, smoking cigars in their bathrooms, sitting out in front of their house all night honking a car horn, calling there place of work over and over again. All these things cost them money and eventually you can call it even.
Ad Secret Society (Daniel seems pretty sloshed in this one)
Do you need a gun but can't get one because of your "questionable" background or lack of money, or maybe the gun guy just says you give him the creeps and won't sell you one? Did you know there is a secret society that has all the guns? (Holds up an NRA sticker) I can teach you to identify these people. If you see this sticker, they got a gun. Maybe it's in their house, or car, or purse, or on their belt. No more guessing, though, maybe you are tired of going through purses trying to find one, but if you see this (puts the sticker on a purse) you know there's a gun in there. Free gun. And after you've shot a ghost, you can sell it. See I tricked you, you can't shoot a ghost but you didn't know that. So come on down to Demon Killer Daniel's Gym and I can teach you what you can and can't shoot. Like you can shoot a demon but not a ghost, and you can shoot a possession but you might want to think about it before you do cause that's like shooting a person so it's like, can you unpossession them or not. We even have walls you can practice shooting at, and bottles, and beer cans, and it's good to shoot inside because that gets your ears used to the noise. Free tip there. Now when some interdimensional being crawls into your cabinet from another dimension, you won't miss.
Ad General:
Can you tell the difference between a ghost and a spirit or poltergeist? Do you know a witch from a voodoo priestess or the difference between a possession and a zombie? Well I offer courses on that so you know what you are up against and how to fight it. So come on down to Daniel's Gym and I can teach you to be a demon killer.
Ad Psychics:
Can you tell which of these psychics is a fraud and which one is the real thing? Trick question, they are all fakes and frauds and want to rip you off and charge you lots of money and keep you coming back. But not me. I don't want to come back. If I have to come back to your haunting, I didn't do my job. So hire me to get rid of your paranormal problem, or hire me to teach you how to get rid of your own problem. You can find me at my gym, Daniel's Demon Killer Gym, now hiring and being hired and don't get ripped off again.
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